well hello.

I'm taking this absolute free moment to catch up. I feel like everytime I do actually blog in this thing, I am catching up, because I just don't find the time to write in this thing as much as I would like. Probably because when I'm not busy, I'm sleeping...for long amounts of time. That can't be good, I think I need to start taking my vitamins again.

It is so close to the end of this semester. Just six more classes, and I am so out of college, forever, amen. I've taken lots of tests, and written lots of papers, and prepared for a few presentations. I've only presented one, thus far, have a couple in the next couple weeks. I thought I did good on the one presentation I have done, but evidentally not, according to my professor. I just wasn't happy with a C...even if it was a high C. I feel like he really slammed me on even the points that I felt were strong. Oh well, I'm done with that class, and finishing with a B, so I'm not even going to worry with it.

I've had some interesting conversations with different people lately. And, I've come to the conclusion that guys are really f*ing weird. I mean, really...you would hope that they would grow out of it, but basically, they don't...if anything, they get weirder. But, they can make for good entertainment.

I've also discovered that I should not drink and dial. Usually, I have to get onto Lyssa for doing this, because she texts the most ridiculous stuff when she drinks...but I seem to have hopped on that train. Eeek.

Eric Church + Ashley Ray tomorrow. A much needed little getaway with Lyssa and Casey...but I wish my Nashville girls were coming with us!!! I have to find something to wear, ha.

As I am typing this, I just looked down at my fingers and kind of gagged at my nails. Yuck, I know chipped black nail polish is in, but not one of my nails is entirely painted, but about four of them have basically no polish on them, I think I might go fix that right now.

Aw, the Miranda, cotton commerical just came on. She is just so pretty, love it!

peace, holla.

April!

Once again, I have gone for ages without updating this thing. I think I'm really bad at online blogging! These next three or four weeks are going to be really hectic for me, with finals approaching. I have three tests this week, and three oral presentations in the following two weeks. Kind of makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. But, I met with my advisor on Friday, and I am six classes away from graduating. It sucks that I'm behind, and should be graduating in a couple of months...but, I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I'm ecstatic! =)

ACM's were last night! I just don't know, I never find myself to overly impressed with the Academy anymore. There were a couple highlights: Jamey Johnson winning Song of The Year, Miranda Lambert premiering "Dead Flowers" which was just amazing; and Mr. Kevin Post getting to play that small little acoustic number with Blake!! The two did such a great job together, and I'm so incredibly proud of Kevin, yayyyy!!

I'm really looking forward to some shows coming up here in the next month or so...lots of great, cheap shows! Gotta love it!

Anyway, life is good. =)

Good Music, Iowa, Pop Quizzes...

I'm sittin here in the school computer lab, listening to a new Ashley Ray demo, called "Chasing Cowboys" and holy woah, I feel like the girl is always singing my life story. She is amazingly talented beyond belief.

I had an absolutely great weekend in Iowa! I really don't think there is anything better than seeing my friends I don't see nearly enough, I don't know that I could ever put a limit on the miles I'd go just for Saturday nights with those friends. However, Jack and I might have to take a Ross and Rachel, "we were on a break" moment for just a little while. I would have rather not wanted to spend the time in the hotel room asleep, instead of being crazy with Hailey, Emily, and Lyssa...but it happens. One day I'll learn.

I'm sad that weekend is over, and I can't wait for spring break in Nashville.

Moving on to the freakin' week, bleh.

I had a pop quiz in my Comparative Religion class today, it was tragic. Seven questions, one after one, I could write nothing down...finally on Question 4, I put, "I obviously haven't read this chapter yet!", ha, I'm sure the prof. laughed at that one. I did know one question though, "What is Nirvana?" Thank goodness for my love of music, I remembered watching a special on Nirvana or something, thus, I knew the meaning. Lucky for me, the prof. told us afterwards that the quiz was not for credit...I think he just wanted to scare us. I'll be more prepared for the next one.

Thats all for now.

lets play catch up.

I haven't written in nearly a month, thats pretty sad. Things have been pretty busy lately, with classes and work, followed by homework, and sleep. I'm honestly so ready to finish this college thing and move on. I know people say these are supposed to be the best years of your life, but I have not been convinced in the slightest. Maybe its my school, or maybe its just me, either way, I'm ready for a big change.

My Comparative Religion class, does, however, seem that it might be somewhat interesting. The subject itself anyway. It should be neat to learn about different religious traditions and cultures. The prof. is really a fun guy, but kind of all over the place when it comes to lecture. Maybe I should start writing in pencil.

I really need a good book to read. Anything really, besides for that Twilight stuff. I guess I never was one to follow trends, especially about vampires. I'm sure its a great collection, but not for me. I want to find something that will fascinate me, that I won't be able to put down for hours. I haven't found a good book like that in a long time.

I missed The Office three weeks in a row. I can't believe this. I really need to catch up.

Wow. This blog is all over the place.

On an end note, I think we are experiencing a big change in the world. But, we must remain hopeful. Together we can make it. --A little Hanson for your hearts. I love this song.

"Great Divide"

The earth is shaking under siege
And every breath will meet it's fate
Still we hunger for a moment of freedom
Even though the hour is late

I find hope and it gives me rest
I find hope in a beating chest
I find hope in what eyes don't see
I find hope in your hate for me
Have no fear when the waters rise
We can conquer this great divide

When every eye is on the fortune
It can only breed contempt
They say blood is thicker than oceans
Still we box our brothers in
I find hope and it gives me rest
I find hope in a beating chest
I find hope in what eyes don't see
I find hope in your hate for me
Have no fear when the waters rise
We can conquer this great divide

new year.

I cannot believe my winter break is almost over. I can't so much say that I have done anything too particularly useful over the past month, but I can say that I have enjoyed every little bit of the nothingness.

I am however, in some fashion, ready for the new semester to begin. Mainly so that I can pass the time quicker, without out sitting on my butt, eating peppermint kisses, drinking shiner, and watching three complete seasons of Weeds, because that my friends, is what I have done the past month.

Also, because I am just really ready to embark on a new year, try new things, meet new people. I know there are some parts, and some people, that encompassed me so much last year, over the past few years even; and I just have to let some of them go. This year, I'm going to try and let go of some of my insecurities. I want to learn it is okay for NEW things. I want to get in shape, like for real, in shape; my junior year of high school, i could run six miles without stopping...now, i'd give myself a big hooray if i could run six blocks! I want to try and not sweat the small things, they just aren't worth the stress. I also plan to convince myself that I am in fact a very good catch (in an un-arrogant manner); and that this good catch is so much better than she gives herself credit for. There's a perfect timing for everything...even meeting that person you want to spend your days with. Someone told me that I'm supposed to make this "list" of what I want in a guy, and stick to it; but to be very careful, because we just might get what we wish for. This is the beginning of my list:

-Someone with a personality just as weird as mine. This is needed for understanding humor and sarcasm, which I exert very often.

-Someone who has that killer, catch me from across the room, kinda smile. Not that hey, i'm a pervert, come on over smile...bad thing to confuse the two.

-Someone who is very family oriented. I am absolutely close to my family, Sunday dinners with the family are one of my favorite things. Although, I don't want his family closeness to be so strong that it crosses out my family time, that could be a problem.

-Someone who is okay with just staying in sometimes. Its okay to just stay in, snuggle up, and watch movies all night. We don't have to do something fancy every night.

-Someone that loves God. The power of faith is an amazing thing. I have to have someone who can share that trust and faith in God with me.

-Someone who has a strong passion for music. Music is a huge part of my life, concerts, and traveling must be something that he loves...or at least is willing to tolerate with me.

....to be continued.



Thats all for now.

good sigh, bad sigh.

I had a great weekend. I had some good wine, way too much good beer, and a headache in the morning. ;) I jumped around and acted crazy with Lyssa and Amy, and did some head banging, which probably mixed with the beer was a cause of the morning headache. I met some new friends, and just had a pretty great time. I love good music with good friends.

Hoooowever, it completely knocked me off of my "21 days is all it takes" plan. And now, I'm back to driving myself crazy. My friends told me the first week would be the hardest of the plan, and I made it through the first two, then I fell off the wagon. I guess that means I have to start over, but I haven't decided if I'm going to or not yet.



Oh well. 'Tis the season to be jolly, so I should.

I have an amazing family. A really amazing family, who I know loves me and supports me, and will always be there for me. However, when it comes to my family, they are all basically RIGHT here. I live seriously within a half hour radius of almost all of my close family. My parents, my grandparents, aunts, uncles...they all stayed right here in this small little town, even the ones who moved, came back here to raise their families. I know that's a really wonderful thing, however, I sometimes wish they could be more open and willing to the idea of letting me go off and live MY dreams. For the past six years, I've known that I want to be in Nashville. However, when it came time to pick a college, RSU, a little campus, about 25 miles from me, was the "obvious" choice, for my parents. I don't regret it, in the fact that it is MUCH cheaper, like thousands upon thousands of dollars cheaper than the out of state tuition to attend a university in Tennessee. However, I hate it too...because I feel like I am missing out on a A LOT of things. I want to be in these classes my friends talk about, I want to have the opportunity to meet label executives, and be in the company of people who really understand the way I feel about music. I still have three semesters left...a year and a half...I feel like this year and a half is going to stretch into what seems like ten years. I just hate it. I guess I am probably being selfish, but I'm sometimes scared that I am missing out on my dreams.

I think things seem harder too, because for some reason, I just cannot seem to find a "circle" here. I can honestly say that I have met basically no one at my school. Scratch the basically. I guess I have my acquaintances, the people that I talk to in class; small talk, school talk, hey can you help me with my homework talk, but thats it. I haven't went out with anyone from school, I never go to parties, I never go to events, because I feel like I will be a complete part of the "out crowd", because everybody seems to know everybody, except me. College is supposed to be like a "new experience", you are supposed to meet the people that are going to change your life. And, I don't know why it feels like everyone except for me is doing that. I have this routine, I go to school, and come home, no events in between; excluding a couple of school plays here and there, but even thats, its like something my sister and I do, just us...no group of friends to come along. This isn't a pity party by any means, I don't feel sorry for myself, because I have AMAZING friends, they're just placed elsewhere. I just feel like I need to meet some people here if I am ever going to survive this next year and a half.

Wow, this is me, thinking too much.