I have an amazing family. A really amazing family, who I know loves me and supports me, and will always be there for me. However, when it comes to my family, they are all basically RIGHT here. I live seriously within a half hour radius of almost all of my close family. My parents, my grandparents, aunts, uncles...they all stayed right here in this small little town, even the ones who moved, came back here to raise their families. I know that's a really wonderful thing, however, I sometimes wish they could be more open and willing to the idea of letting me go off and live MY dreams. For the past six years, I've known that I want to be in Nashville. However, when it came time to pick a college, RSU, a little campus, about 25 miles from me, was the "obvious" choice, for my parents. I don't regret it, in the fact that it is MUCH cheaper, like thousands upon thousands of dollars cheaper than the out of state tuition to attend a university in Tennessee. However, I hate it too...because I feel like I am missing out on a A LOT of things. I want to be in these classes my friends talk about, I want to have the opportunity to meet label executives, and be in the company of people who really understand the way I feel about music. I still have three semesters left...a year and a half...I feel like this year and a half is going to stretch into what seems like ten years. I just hate it. I guess I am probably being selfish, but I'm sometimes scared that I am missing out on my dreams.

I think things seem harder too, because for some reason, I just cannot seem to find a "circle" here. I can honestly say that I have met basically no one at my school. Scratch the basically. I guess I have my acquaintances, the people that I talk to in class; small talk, school talk, hey can you help me with my homework talk, but thats it. I haven't went out with anyone from school, I never go to parties, I never go to events, because I feel like I will be a complete part of the "out crowd", because everybody seems to know everybody, except me. College is supposed to be like a "new experience", you are supposed to meet the people that are going to change your life. And, I don't know why it feels like everyone except for me is doing that. I have this routine, I go to school, and come home, no events in between; excluding a couple of school plays here and there, but even thats, its like something my sister and I do, just us...no group of friends to come along. This isn't a pity party by any means, I don't feel sorry for myself, because I have AMAZING friends, they're just placed elsewhere. I just feel like I need to meet some people here if I am ever going to survive this next year and a half.

Wow, this is me, thinking too much.