its that kinda daaaay.

I have just not had a good day at all. I went to campus today at noon to take my African American studies final. This class has been online the entire semester, but the final exam had to be proctored up at the school. Anyway, I got there at noon and the server was down, so i waited, and waited, and waited...and finally at five o'clock, i was able to take the test. It was worth 225 points, which is like an insane amount of points, and will make or break the class for me, literally, my fingers are crossed.

Some shit hit the fan with some "family" tonight. It made me realize how thankful I am to have been raised so well. To not be crazy, and to really, whole heartedly love my family, in good times in bad. To never have to question whether or not they love me, and to never have to feel like I am an outcast. I really hope this girl gets help, because that is truly what she needs. I'm not really sure that she can ever get better, but being put in a place where people know how to help her, is what she truly needs. For the sake of my family, for the absolute sake of my six month old baby cousin who is currently in the same household as her. I stress out about this, and prayers are so much needed.

I'm really irritated with some things in my life right now. I feel so much lately like I am just the middle person; or the person who introduces people, and they the people I introduced all end up really liking each other, and then I'm kind of thrown on the backburner or something. I'm always the go-to girl. The girl that everyone comes to for advice, but sometimes thats all they come to me for. I dont mind it, because I love helping people, but it is just so frustrating sometimes to not get the same thing in return.

I'm also so crazy when it comes to the people I am attracted to. I dont know why I pick the people that I have absolutely no chance with. And, even though I know I don't, I continue to pursue it in my mind, like maybe one day I might. I need to change my standards, or meet new people, or something. I don't know, I have a bad problem with this. Everyone thinks I'm crazy when it comes to picking men, and I guess I have to agree, I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe I'm just in love with the thought.

Tomorrow is the last day of finals. I have a Comparative Religion exam at 9:30, and Research Methods at 12:30, then I am so free for the summer. I have lots of ideas and destinations in my mind. I also have a celebration lunch with Jennifer H. after finals tomorrow, yay...love her crazy ass!

Okay, I gotta go bookmark some stuff in my 3 Religions books, I should have studied way earlier. I'm so terrible at this study stuff, even during finals.

Peace.